Families unite in support, as the battle against alcoholism goes on
The Al-Anon group is changing the way people view alcoholics….Sumitra Deb Roy
The Al-Anon group is changing the way people view alcoholics….Sumitra Deb Roy
Fear gripped Meena Sawant, 47, and her two children every night, as her drunken husband came home. The dreaded sound of the doorbell at 9.30pm signaled the beginning of a nightmare.
Sawant and her two children counted down the seconds, knowing that at any minute one of them would be thrashed for the most frivolous of reasons. “Our emotions and happiness were at the mercy of alcohol,” she said. Sawant bears testimony to the findings that one alcoholic is enough to bring grief to at least 20 people.
Sawant eventually won her 17-year battle with an alcoholic husband, by accepting that her husband was a ‘helpless patient’ rather than a bad person. She joined the self-help organisation Al-Anon seven years ago and it helped her change her attitude towards her husband. Al-Anon is a worldwide organisation that offers mutual support to families who have suffered for someone else’s drinking problem. There are about 33 such Al-Anon family groups in Mumbai, comprising an average of 13 members each.
These groups emphasise the fact that a family or a close one may not be in a position to rectify the ways of an alcoholic. So the best bet is to accept the person as a sufferer, and mend one’s own behaviour towards that person.
“One’s improved attitude may actually influence the alcoholic to recognise his problem and seek help,” said Nicolette Stephens, an information analyst with the Al-Anon Family Groups, US.
Mumbai was the first city in India to have enquired about Al-Anon in 1962. Members of such groups share each other’s experiences in dealing with their financial and emotional crises.
Over the last 45 years, the number of family members joining these groups has gone up significantly. One Al-Anon member observed that it was the middle-class that acknowledged alcoholism as a problem, but the upper-class didn’t. “We reached this conclusion after our repeated efforts to start such a group in Malabar Hill failed,” she said.
Arjun, whose alcoholic father drove him into a life disassociated from the rest of society, found solace in Alateen (a similar group for youngsters) where he could connect with other children facing the same problem. “This group gave me the courage to fight the negative vibes at home,” he said.
Things have also taken a turn for the better in Sawant’s life. Her husband has quit drinking and sought rehabilitation, immediately after she joined Al-Anon. “Last Diwali he spent his bonus on food and not on alcohol,” she says with pride. “This is my victory”.
Al-Anon helpline number-9321271122
(Names of families have been changed on request)
r_sumitra@dnaindia.net
(Names of families have been changed on request)
r_sumitra@dnaindia.net