Case study of an Elder Abuse in Bangalore

Case Study
of an Elder Abuse in Bangalore

Victims: Old Parents; Abuser: Son & DIL; Reason: Property. Old
grudges of DIL; Place: Bangalore Read for yourself how mean and lowly children
could be!

Ramakrishna 90 and his wife Radha Bhai 82 are victims of Elder Abuse in
their own house. Offenders are none other their own son Anil Kumar and Daughter
in law Anjali.  The son lost his job when
he was barely 50 and is wasting or idling at home. Children (grand children)
are studying in engineering colleges. As the DIL earns, she has an upper hand
over her husband. The old man gets sufficient pension of his own.

Ramakrishna has a two bed room house but he can not out of their only
room ‘allotted’ to them.
He suffers from Alzheimers and can not look after himself.  But they share common kitchen, toilet and
passage way. Old parents prepare (that is, the son’s mother) their own food
after the DIL leaves for office. The son is so much against the parents (they
are refusing “write” their house to the son right now) that he will
not entertain any  visitors of his
parents. DIL Refuses to do anything connected with parents in law. She will not
allow her husband to fetch even bread or milk for his parents when they are
sick.

Recently when Radha Bhai went to bank to withdraw some heavy cash (10K)
when she was expecting a balance of 45 K she was told by the bank that all the
money has been drawn already!.Even for heating water for bathing DIL will not
allow PIL to use their Electric heater (heating rod). Oldies heat their own water
on gas stove (how risky). There will be a big scene if FIL picks up the
newspaper bought by his
son!

The reason for Anjali being so hard hearted is stated to be that the MIL was
very strict in regard to ‘madi’ ‘acharam’ etc peculiar to Madhwa Community when
DIL was young. The son locks the fridge so that it can not be used for storing
milk, puja flowers or curd belonging to parents. Recently the son poured water
in mother’s bed room floor and was seen praying aloud to GOD that she (mother)
must have a fall, fracture and suffer more.

Radha had to be operated for fully developed cataract. She requested her son to
look after his father for 3/4 days. Son asked: First show me the WILL. Mother
said the will is still with the lawyer. The son asked her to pack everything
and go away.

The old woman has a pace maker inserted and the battery is failing and needs
replacement. She also wants cataract operation done as her vision is very poor.
No one would take her to hospital or help her in any way though Bangalore is
full of their relatives of various ages & strengths. On a daily basis both
son and DIL abuse elders verbally too.

As the old man gets a pension (about 10K) they decided to move to an OAH. They
did go to OAH and got admitted paying Rs 8000/- Right on the first evening the
old man (demented) created such a ruckus that he should go back to ‘his’
(son’s) home, the mgmt of OAH sent them back in the night at 10.00 pm by taxi.
A lady advocate friend who assisted them to go to OAH took Rs 1000 towards Taxi
while the actual fare is Rs 300/- Everywhere they are exploited and ill
treated. The old lady with her ailing husband is back to her son DIL again to
face the music this time louder!

The old man asked his wife ‘what to do with the wet underwear’ after bathing.
Radha said: bring it & put it on the edge of the cot for drying. Drying
them outside is not permitted! He took the underwear,
while walking through the kitchen, jerked it briskly to throw away excess water
and went to his bedroom to dry the same. Anjali  saw what happened got offended and threw away
all the items she had cooked that morning stating that they would got dirtied
because of the old man’s action. Cooked items were covered with proper lids and
FIL was far away to have any impact. She would not listen. DIL has neither
heart nor sympathy whatsoever for MIL or FIL.

Radha  Bhai  got herself admitted into an OAH on her own
again taking her ALD patient with her. With the help of some friend and well wisher,
got one eye operated. Before the other eye could be operated
she developed infection, mostly because she was attending to her husband who
was sick, unhealthy and stinking. Despite OAH staff warned her not to bother
about her husband whom they were ready to
take care, she did not listen. After struggling for three weeks with infection
she got the other eye operated for cataract. When that eye was just healing her
husband passed away.

Anil  and Anjali  were away to GOA on a holiday – they were
informed. When the son came from Goa to the OAH, the first thing he asked returned
OAH staff was how much of advance is left over? This advance was paid by the
old couple out of their own money.

Radha’s  problems have increased. She is
isolated & treated as an untouchable old times Widow. Verbal abuse, negating
all physical help like cooking food, cheating her of her money — all continue.
She buys food from nearby mess. Despite a number of relatives in the city, no one
would “interfere”. The funny thing is that the son / DIL & their sons
are still living in the Old Lady’s house!