Age of innocence, where has it gone?
Ratna Khemani
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Last week, Abhimanyu & Anita brought their little girl, to me, for joining the childrens workshops. I looked at Ananya & looked at her again, what was it, that bothered me ? a smudged lipstick painting her mouth, & the rouge on her cheeks, or thats what it looked like. It cant be, I said to myself, an 8 year old cannot have make up on & walk into my place. With her parents so nonchalant. But sure enough it was.
The other day, at a wedding I noticed at least 3 little girls, dressed in tight leather jeans & pointed shoes & a top that was above the navel, in exact copy of Kareena Kapoor, in the film, KKKG & most others in various films. Now, Im all for modernity & being trendy & keeping up with the times. but for children to behave & become adults before they even have a proper childhood makes me feel sick. I wonder if anyone has even given this growing trend a thought. We re so busy going about mechanically & moodily, that these things dont even affect us any more. We crack adult jokes with them, buy them adult clothes & let them watch adult movies. For instance a 6 & 7 year old is often asked Is this your girl friend ? or whom will you marry ? or I saw you winking at her & laugh loudly as if its a big joke. Now, at that age girls & boys are friends, they dont know what is getting married, or even what is a girlfriend or a boyfriend. There are no adult emotions awakened & we start dressing them up like adults & expect adult reactions from them Just think about this fact.
Children need cool comfortable cotton clothes to play in & do their sundry wholesome activities & free movements. Leather is certainly not the appropriate material in a hot climate like ours. They may be okay briefly on the ramp or fashion show perhaps
Their feet need round shaped, broad toed footwear, for healthy foot growth. But the concept of shoe design does not exist in
Children also need to be given choices commensurate with their age & ability. We burden them with choices they are not mature enough to make sometimes & at times curtail their choices even as adults, with out realizing it & meaning to possibly. They need their privacy at every stage (even a 2 year old needs it) a little more as teenagers. When children do not understand their own feelings, emotions, growth symptoms. Over & above is the peer pressure & competition in their everyday life. Exactly what we face in ours, the children face in theirs. Sometimes they can not talk about it, but they show it in their own way, temper tantrums, frequent illnesses, headaches & stomach aches that we think are fake, bed wetting, mood swings, are some of them.
When children ask questions, dont shoo them away, answer them patiently & with respect. even if you are busy & hasseled with your own problems & pressures, ( who isnt?) explain this fact to them & they will accept it. Remember they are your children & are intelligent enough to understand what you tell them in a straight & simple manner. In my annual summer childrens workshops, I make it a point to meet the parents of the children, I have handled & believe me, it is harder to make parents understand these facts. I would love a feed back to the points that I am trying to make in this article. They concern all of us
..reply to me at ratna_khemani@vsnl.com or at tele: 020-25886836
Ratna Khemani, is well known in the country for her unique concepts of personality deelopment. A social scientist at heart, She is founder , director of the academy of natural health & beauty & the centre for personality deelopment. Her workshops cove behaviour sensitivity, relationships, attitudes, motivation skills, etiquette & grooming, health & nutrition. She is visiting faculty at several management institutes & corporates & uses her earnings to educate needy children.
Director
Academy of Natural Health & Beauty
Centre for Personality Development
510 Sind Society
Pune 411 007
Email: ratna_khemani@vsnl.com
Telefax:91-20-5886836
Website:http://www.geocities.com/rkhemani2001/